When You Love More Than You’re Loved — Lessons from The Passion Trap

You text. You wait. The silence feels heavier with each minute. When they finally reply, you feel relief — but also resentment. You tell yourself, If I just try harder, they’ll come closer.

Psychologist Dr. Dean Delis, in his book The Passion Trap, describes this imbalance as a “pursuer–distancer” dynamic — one person leans in, the other steps back. Both want closeness, but the harder one tries to connect, the more the other feels crowded.

In my experience, this same tension appears symbolically in Lenormand readings — for instance, The Ring (commitment) paired with The Fox (mistrust). The cards often reflect the energy of “holding on too tightly,” not as punishment, but as an invitation to pause.

Sometimes love needs space to breathe before it can return freely. When you stop running after connection, you allow balance to re-emerge naturally.

If you find yourself loving more than you’re loved, you’re not alone — and it’s not your fault.

A personal reading can help you see what this pattern means for your path forward.

Warmly,
Gabriel Wise

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